Confidence

Hey D.O.P.E people!!

In  recent years, any ounce of confidence I thought I had was gone. I was a new mom, overweight, dealing with anxiety and depression, at a dead end job I totally hated with so many dreams and goals that pinned up inside of me since child hood all waiting to be birth–but I had no idea how they would come to fruition.

I’d see quotes about “never letting dreams die” or “the moment dreams die, you die,” so I never wanted to let my dreams go. As I got older, my dreams shifted in so many ways. I went from wanting to be an entertainer (actor, dancer, modeling, producer, director, etc) to wanting to be in “charge” of something. I wanted to find a way to help people on a mass scale and I figured if I could only “become famous,” I’d be able to reach those goals…Never considering the fact that I needed my CREATOR to bring those things to past…Never considering His plans for my life.

Well as you know, life happened. In the midst of feeling lost, some dreams became far-fetched, others became less important, and new dreams were placed in my view. I say all that to say this…With so many of life’s disappointments and hurts getting in the way, I lost confidence. I began consulting man for opinions and advice, consulting self, and was left in a big ball of confusion. As some of you may or may not know, I’m a Christian, and I believe that God is not a God of confusion. In the moments I felt most confused, I wasn’t seeking God nor requesting his direction, I was seeking to prove myself to people…Seeking to prove myself to self…And not seeking to fulfill the things God created me for.

I have so many gifts…so many talents, and I let fear, the voices of others, the NOISE of the world overtake the voice of the Lord. I let the ways of the world and how society says things should be done, steal my “confidence” and joy of the things I so love to do that come naturally to me.

The Bible states that our “gifts make room” for us…And I believe that to be true. I am around so many talented individuals who struggled with the same issue and began to trust and seek God, who are humble and operating in their gifts and glorifying God with their lives. It’s not about fame for me anymore. It’s about glorifying God and impacting lives.

I’ve come to truly understand that the confidence I’ve  searched for is found in Him. If my Creator gave me a vision, if I seek His direction while moving in faith, He will guide my footsteps and light the way (as He’s done in my past)…Regardless of how many other people seemingly are operating in the same things, I cannot focus on what any human is or isn’t doing, my focus is the Lord. There are so many successful people operating in the same fields, there is always room for you when God is in it.

My life resolution is to drown out all the noise and do what Matthew 6:33 says. Seek first the kingdom of God and His ways…His righteousness…Everything else will be added unto me…

In closing, the advice I give myself is Don’t give up on your dreams due to lack of knowledge or confidence. Consult the Lover of your soul…The Creator of all things and keep Him as the focus… He is your confidence…

With Love,

Author: Nikki

www.nikkidope.com

One thought on “Confidence

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