While at work thinking about the current state of my life versus where I would like to be, I began to search Google for articles on “fearlessness.” In that search, I happened upon “The Art of Becoming Imperfectly Fearless” via “EmotionallyResilientLiving.com.” The article was written by Marquita Herald, the owner of the site, and has caused me to produce change in that area of my life.
From as early as I can remember, my entire life’s decisions has been based on fear: fear of the dark, fear of water, fear of heights, fear of dying, fear of flying, fear of rats, fear of public speaking, fear of failure, fear of never being good enough, fear of not being perfect, fear of diving into my passion for photography, fear of my purpose, an all out fear of life. I consider myself a perfectionist; but not the type of perfectionist who works hard at everything until it’s perfect. I am the perfectionist who won’t even try if I feel my attempt will not match a certain level of perfection that I envision. In turn, I have found myself dropping out of commitments when the going got tough, turning down opportunities that present themselves because I “fear” I won’t be good enough, and not accomplishing many of the God given desires that have been placed in me.
There are so many deeply rooted desires that I have that I know won’t be obtained if I continue to walk in fear and not in faith: Desires to help people in any way that I can, the desire to speak boldly when led, the desire to start certain businesses, the desire to come out of corporate America, the desire for “time freedom,” the desire to create, the to learn certain instruments, the desire to travel, the desire to raise a God loving & fearing son, the desire to walk boldly in purpose even in the midst of fear.
I know that fear is not of God. He does not give a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
As I write this, I already feel judged, and no one has even read this blog post. Thoughts of “how will people perceive me?” and “do I sound intelligent enough?” and “nobody cares about your issues, hun” plague me even as I type. Today, as I sat thinking about my life, while at work might I add, I came across the article (http://www.emotionallyresilientliving.com/the-art-of-being-imperfectly-fearless. In the article, listed are 6 Steps to Cultivate Fearlessness. They are listed below (in italics are some of the fears I face):
1. Name your fear
2. Expose your fear
3. Identify what fear is costing you
4. Challenge your fear
5. Shrink your fear
6. Grow larger than your fear
I personally feel led to challenge myself to 60 days of fearlessness. I vow each day to do at least one thing that challenges my norm, that makes me uncomfortable, and forces me to look into the eyes of my fears. I will be documenting my journey. It’s funny how my screen name is “NikkiOutsidetheBox” all the while I have been living in a secret box of fear all this time. It is imperative that I be free. My life is on the line.
Encouraging words, scriptures and love are always welcomed. 💕